She Wrote One Letter at 17. And It Changed Everything.

What Vicki Lawrence teaches us about courage, timing, and simply asking

Dear Reader,

I recently watched The Cool Kids, a TV show about a group of friends in a retirement community who “break every rule and make their golden years the craziest part of their lives.” Described as “high school with 70-somethings,” it’s pretty funny.

One of the stars is Vicki Lawrence, mostly known from The Carol Burnett Show. What many people don’t know is how Vicki got that job.

At 17, Vicki noticed something watching Carol Burnett on television: they looked alike. Same hair. Similar face. Similar expressions. So instead of just thinking, Huh, that’s interesting, she sat down and wrote Carol a letter (enclosing her own photo) basically saying: People tell me I look like your younger sister. I think I could play your younger sister.

Carol Burnett and Vicki Lawrence from The Carol Burnett Show

The rest is TV history.

One letter. One stamp. One moment of bravery. An entire life changed.

I love this story because it reminds me that letters aren’t passive things. They’re active. A letter is movement. It says: I’m reaching toward something. That something could be toward love, opportunity, forgiveness, connection, a version of yourself you haven’t met yet. Endless possibilities.

The sad thing is that most people don’t write the letter. They think about it. Draft it in their heads. Talk themselves out of it. Assume the person is too famous, too busy, too important, too unreachable. But every once in a while, someone ignores all that noise, picks up a pen, and changes their own story.

Like me.

In 2021, I wrote a letter to American feminist writer, LGBTQ+ rights activist, and bestselling author Rita Mae Brown asking if she would endorse my memoir Half In. To my utter delight, she wrote back with her endorsement, which I put on the cover of the book. Sure, it’s helped sell a few copies, but having someone of her stature in my corner meant the world to me.

The first “In Conversation” event with Rita Mae Brown

Since then, Ms. Brown and I have done two in-person speaking engagements together and, along the way, became friends.

All because I wrote the letter.

I think about the hundreds of letters I’ve saved over the years—from family, old friends, people I loved, people who loved me. Some arrived at exactly the right moment. Some cracked open relationships. Some healed them. Some ended them. And some simply said: I see you.

And isn’t that what we’re all looking for?

A text disappears under seventeen LOLs and a DSW coupon. But a letter survives breakups, moves, and time. A letter requires commitment. Maybe that’s why they can change lives.

I wonder how many opportunities have been missed because someone didn’t send the letter. How many friendships never started. How many dreams quietly died in drafts.

Vicki Lawrence mailed hers. I mailed mine. That’s the whole lesson. Just write the letter. Ask the question. Tell the person. Take the chance. Because sometimes the difference between an ordinary life and an extraordinary one is sitting in a mailbox.

So this week, I have homework for you: write a letter. To an old friend, a former mentor, someone you miss, someone who changed your life and never knew it. Write the one you’ve been postponing.

You never know what might happen once it leaves your hands.

With love (and a stack of Ellen DeGeneres’s photos I’m trying to match with my own),

P.S. Thank you to reader Elizabeth Rynecki for letting me know about Mailsafe Express, a new company located in a handful of airports near security that mail your items homes. They’re not in NYC airports yet (hence why I hadn’t heard of them). When looking at their website, I had to laugh. Their instructions for those airports where they don’t have locations is: “You will need to exit the secured area and visit a local USPS or FedEx drop-off center outside of the terminal.” Not so convenient when about to board a plane. But again, glad to hear they’re there!

SONG OF THE WEEK

Dear Mama by Tupac Shakur. Anyone want to guess why I chose this song? Who can forget Vicki Lawrence’s most famous character Mama which spun off into her own show called Mama’s Family.