Taylor Swift Asked Me to Help with Her Wedding Thank You Notes

She and Travis will need help writing 300 of them. I wish I were kidding.

Dear Felice (My favorite Swiftie!)

In full honesty, I don’t know if you’re a Swiftie. It’s just that I’ve become such a fan of yours, I assumed. My bad.

So, why am I writing you a letter? Glad you asked. First, a little backstory.

After our engagement party, Travis and I received a lot of gifts. Like, a lot a lot. We wrote thank you notes. For months, that’s all we did. And while I was completely surprised by Travis’s shockingly beautiful handwriting (I’m starting to think he secretly practices during the off-season), it’s come to our attention that we mostly wrote the same thing to everyone:

“Thank you for the X. We will use it and think of you.”

Now, Travis and I are (rumored to be) preparing for a June wedding in Rhode Island, and even though our (supposed) invite stated “no gifts,” we’re anticipating boatloads. Enough to require their own zip code. Possibly a neighboring one.

And even with Travis’s calligraphy talents, we’re going to need help keeping the notes from sounding like we’re writing the same thing over and over and just hoping no one notices.

That’s where you come in.

While we were vacationing in the Maldives over New Year’s (at Oprah’s timeshare, obviously), she turned us on to your Substack. After following you for months, we think you might be the person to help.

We would love to bring your skills to writing our thank you notes.

From reading your weekly posts, it’s clear you understand the art of the letter: the tone, the rhythm, the way a simple “thank you” can feel like a hug instead of a blank space we’re trying to fill. Also, you’re from Cape Cod, which makes you geographically qualified for a Rhode Island wedding.

How? You ask.

For example, we have already received multiple sets of lobster crackers. (Multiple!) What is the correct variation on: “Thank you so much for the lobster crackers. I can’t wait to test them out on lobster knuckles too.”

And how many ways can one express gratitude for a whale-themed air fryer? Is it ever acceptable to just, well, shake it off and start fresh on note #173? Or would that create, you know… bad blood?

Seriously, we’re also anticipating:

• Monogrammed towels with initials that may or may not be correct since Travis is the one changing his last name.

• At least one guest who insists we’ll “never, ever” need this many serving platters (like, ever).

• Small needlepoint pillows with quotes like “It’s me, hi” or “I knew you were trouble when you walked in.”

We want each note to feel personal, warm, and sincere, even if Travis’s hand has gone completely numb. If you’re available, we’d love your guidance. Honestly, I’d even take a list of ways to say “thank you” that don’t accidentally turn into a breakup letter. (Those I’ve got down.)

Please write back.

Love,
Taylor and Travis

P.S. If any of this seems slightly unbelievable… well, tomorrow is April Fool’s Day.

SONG OF THE WEEK

Dear John by Taylor Swift

NEW BOOK COMING OUT!

ATTENTION BOOK LOVERS: Your Dream Cruise is less than a month away!

Felice Cohen is an award-winning author, best known for squeezing big ideas into small spaces—like her 90-square-foot NYC apartment (yes, really). Her books include Half In: A Coming-of-Age Memoir of Forbidden Love, 90 Lessons for Living Large in 90 Square Feet, and What Papa Told Me, with praise from legends like Elie Wiesel and Rita Mae Brown. Her viral YouTube tour has racked up over 25 million views—mostly from people wondering where she kept her shoes. More at felicecohen.com.