Won’t You Be My Neighbor?

A reflection on cup-of-sugar kindness, elevator small talk, and loving the neighbors we don't understand.

Dear Neighbor,

Thank you for lending me that cup of sugar the other day. I have one more favor to ask.

With National Good Neighbor Day coming up, it got me thinking about you, and about neighbors everywhere, the ones on a different floor or down the street whose faces we recognize, even if their names escape us. The ones who say “hi” when we’re getting our mail, or who bring in a package when it’s raining and we’re not home. And, of course, there’s you, always ready to lend a cup of sugar, and, while you’re at it, share a little neighborhood gossip.

A few years ago, while staying at my parents’ house on Cape Cod, I was out for a walk when I saw a neighbor, an older woman, sitting on the ground, hand to her head. Something looked off. Then I noticed the blood. I ran over, dialing 911, then called my mother to bring over a towel and ice while we waited for the ambulance. The next day my mother and I brought the woman soup. She had a bandage on her head and repeated what the doctor told her, “You were lucky your neighbors found you when they did.”

Would your neighbor do this for you? Would you do it for them? There’s something comforting about knowing that if you ever really needed help, there’d be someone a door away.

Lately, I’ve been thinking about the word neighbor. Does it really have to be someone whose home is visible from yours? Can it be someone who lives across town? In another state? What about in a different country? Or who speaks a different language? What about someone we’ve been told is our enemy?

Are they still our neighbor?

We just marked Yom Kippur, which felt like a fitting backdrop for all this. Centuries ago, a stranger asked Hillel the Elder to sum up the entire Torah. His answer: "What is hateful to you, do not do to your neighbor."

I think by 'neighbor,' he meant something closer to how we use the term 'neighboring countries' or 'love thy neighbor,' not just people who live in the same zip code.

To me, neighbor is a fellow human. And maybe they agree with my beliefs or maybe they don't, but because they’re my neighbor, because they’re human, they should not be dismissed.

I think widening our neighborhoods starts small. We can begin by saying “hi” to someone we pass on the sidewalk. Or ask, “How’s your day going?” to the neighbor we know by their dog’s name, not their own, instead of staring at our phones without ever making eye contact.

One act of kindness, one cup of sugar, one ‘How you doin’?’ is not only neighborly, it has the potential to broaden our communities and make them friendlier, too. Mr. Rogers spent his career being everyone’s neighbor on television, teaching us that human relationships come first. If we’re going to call ourselves neighbors, maybe it’s time we started acting like it.

So, Neighbor, thank you again for the sugar. I used it to bake, and I’d love to have you over for cookies and tea.

With love (and my door always open),

Felice

P.S. Do you have a special neighbor? And not just the geographic one? Tell me about them.

SONG OF THE WEEK

Dear Neighbor by Jerry L. White Jr.