WORDS THAT LAST: How Letters Bring Families Closer

Some people leave behind inheritances—houses, jewelry, maybe a well-worn recipe book with notes in the margins. My paternal grandfather, Manuel Benjamin Cohen, left something even more valuable: his words.

In 1963, Papa Manny, a Mensa member with a mind sharp enough to slice through any problem, sat down and wrote a letter to my father, Rick. Not a quick note or a scribbled directive—this was a real letter, filled with wisdom about love, work, resilience, and perspective. The kind of advice that fathers often intend to give but rarely put into words.

Decades later, I compiled that letter into a booklet—A Father’s Advice—as a tribute to him. And seeing as today, March 4, is National Sons Day, it feels like the perfect moment to share a piece of it. Because letters like this? They don’t just connect generations; they hold them together.

Papa Manny’s letter is filled with life lessons wrapped in humor and heart. He begins:

“Dear Rick, Advice to give is so easy. But, it’s hard to give good advice.”

Some are practical:

"Whenever you are disappointed, suffer a setback, come in second best… see if there isn’t some way to turn these minus items into plus items."

Some are philosophical:

"I have found it necessary to be flexible mentally. Believe and know that there is a good and right answer to every problem. And it is usually a simple answer. But you have to look for and find that right answer."

Some are helpful:

“In my experience and observation, with very rare exception, there is no such thing as a person having a calling for only one thing or profession.”

And some are just downright delightful:

"If you feel really, but really bad, try these two foolish things and I will guarantee that you will then not be able to feel bad.

1. Sing out loud. (And with your voice, that’s taking a real chance). Even if it’s a sad lament. But the song must be sung aloud. Well, not too loud.

2. Laugh out loud. Force it out if you have to but get it out.

I love this letter. It’s simple, silly, and profoundly true. And it makes me wonder—how many of us wish we had a letter like this from our parents or grandparents? A tangible, ink-and-paper reminder that we were loved, guided, and thought about long before we realized we needed guidance? (I’m fortunate to have several letters like these from my parents, and this year, I’ll be sharing a few of them here on Substack.)

Papa Manny probably didn’t write this letter thinking his words would be passed down to his grandchildren. He was writing to his son, to the 19-year-old version of my father who was studying psychology at Clark University. But the magic of a letter is that it has a way of rippling outward, connecting past, present, and future.

Letters heal rifts. They strengthen bonds. They capture moments that otherwise might fade. They remind us that we are part of something bigger than ourselves—a family, a legacy, a thread that continues long after the ink has dried.

“Be well—as far as the girls are concerned, play the field but in moderation.” (Picture me reading this with my fingers in my ears shouting, “La, la, la, la!” )

So, in honor of National Sons Day, I’m celebrating the wisdom of a grandfather I didn’t get to know, but whose words have shaped me nonetheless. For this week’s writing prompt, if you have something to say to a loved one, maybe take a moment to write it down. You never know whose hands—or heart—it might end up in.

With love (and maybe a forced-out laugh, just to test Papa Manny’s theory),

Felice

P.S. In honor of Read an E-Book Week (the first week of March), my grandfather Papa Manny’s full letter, featured in a tribute book, is on sale for 99 cents. You can find it here.

SONG OF THE WEEK

Box Full of Letters by Wilco.

Felice Cohen is an award-winning author, known nationally and internationally for living in one of the world’s smallest apartments. She wrote Half In: A Coming-of-Age Memoir of Forbidden Love (endorsed by Rita Mae Brown), 90 Lessons for Living Large in 90 Square Feet (...and More) (inspired by her viral YouTube video with 25M+ views), and What Papa Told Me (endorsed by Elie Wiesel). Felice is a sought-after speaker, inspiring others through her books and talks. Find her at felicecohen.com.