Dear LOML: A Modern Day Love Letter in Acronyms (Warning: May Cause FOMO)

A Texting Translator's Tongue Twister

Dear Reader,

Do you like puzzles? If so, you’re in for a treat. Since May 31 is National Speak in Complete Sentences Day—a day when writing “LOL” is frowned upon—I’ve decided to write a love letter using only acronyms. (Think of it as Morse code for people raised on texting and TikTok.)

It wasn’t my intention to write a love letter, but while researching acronyms, so many seemed to revolve around relationships.

Acronyms are supposed to save us time. But what are we doing with all that extra time? Reading more books? Hitting the gym? Whipping up elaborate meals from scratch? Or are we trading full sentences for shortcuts and losing something else in the process?

Connectivity. Meaning. An actual complete thought.

So here’s your challenge: decode the love letter below. (Don’t worry—if you’re over 35, I’ve included a translation.)

An Acronym Love Letter

Dear LOML,

HRU? JW. LMK. NGL, IMU. WTM? WYGAM, TTM.
DTR. LTR? OTP? Or FWB?
I WNT YR POV. ELI5.
OFT, U R NA. RN, I’m SMH.
WDYT? SRSLY, I LYSM N am ISO TMW U R my SO.
BR w/ me, I’m RH, IRL. But TYT.
Y? BC AFAIK, YOLO.
N WYSIWYG, IYKWIM.
IMO, W/E I say, “ILY,” U say, “NBD.”
Or “OMG, TMI!”
LMK if U R F2T.
I will B WFH. IH dis wun’t TL;DR.
ANW, HAGD N TMB!
XOXO,
F
P.S. WBS!

Translation

Dear Love of My Life,

How are you? Just wondering. Not gonna lie, I miss you. What’s the matter? When you get a minute, talk to me. Define the relationship. Longterm relationship? One true pairing? Or friends with benefits?

I want your point of view. Explain like I’m 5. Often, you’re not available. Right now, I’m shaking my head. What do you think? Seriously, I love you so much and am in search of that moment when you are my significant other.

Be real with me, I’m right here, in real life. But take your time. Why? Because as far as I know, you only live once. And what you see is what you get, if you know what I mean.

In my opinion, whenever I say, “I love you” you say, “No big deal.” Or “Oh my god, too much information!”

Let me know if you’re free to talk. I’ll be working from home. I hope this wasn’t too long and you didn’t read.

Anyway, have a great day and text me back!

Hugs and kisses,
Felice
P.S. Write back soon!

How’d you do? Don’t feel bad if you didn’t catch them all. (I wrote it and still have to check the translation.) And by the way, acronyms in letters didn’t start with millennials—they go back at least as far as WWII, when soldiers and their loved ones passed discreet messages like SWAK (Sealed With A Kiss) and NORWICH (Nickers Off Ready When I Come Home).

This week, write a letter (in full sentences) to someone you care about. Tell them about something real. Something whole.

TTFN! (That’s All For Now)
Felice

P.S. Did you know “P.S.” stands for postscript or post scriptum—an afterthought, a little something extra you forgot to say?

SONG OF THE WEEK

P.S. I Love You by The Beatles

Felice Cohen is an award-winning author, known nationally and internationally for living in one of the world’s smallest apartments. She wrote Half In: A Coming-of-Age Memoir of Forbidden Love (endorsed by Rita Mae Brown), 90 Lessons for Living Large in 90 Square Feet (...and More) (inspired by her viral YouTube video with 25M+ views), and What Papa Told Me (endorsed by Elie Wiesel). Felice is a sought-after speaker, inspiring others through her books and talks. Find her at felicecohen.com.